TEN WAYS TWITTER WILL BE DIFFERENT NOW THAT USER VERIFICATION IS GONE

10. You’ll never know if a Tweet promising to rebuild America’s infrastructure and increase access to high-quality child care is from President of the United States Joe Biden or just some loser named Phil

9. It will be impossible to figure out whether the account with 268 followers or the account with 15.3 million followers is the real Beyonce

8. “Blue checkmark” will cease to be a an insulting synonym for “liberal elite” & evolve into an insulting synonym for “Muskovite lackey”

7. The trolls who insist that COVID was a hoax, Trump really won the election, and George Soros convinced Jeffrey Epstein to commit seppuku will now have questionable authenticity

6. Lazy newspaper scribes looking for some low-impact filler will have to compile Tweets by such personalities as Ben Shapiro, Kevin Sorbo, and Catturd2

5. The recipe for Beef Bourguignon that you thought was posted by the real Gordon Ramsay might turn out a little too salty

4. The official Twitter account of the Roanoke Country Water and Sewer System will be subject to countless unqualified imitators looking for a brief dalliance with the celebrity spotlight

3. The rantings and ravings of a homeless person with untreatable mental illness will be even harder to distinguish from the official Twitter account of Hollywood actor Randy Quaid

2. The only way to distinguish the real Elon Musk from his legions of imitators is to find the account with the most awkward and cringeworthy sense of humor

1. Hot and horny housewives really do want to meet you now