so here's a story

I volunteer helping seniors with their technology issues. One of my regulars came in with a Lenovo laptop. It still had a retail sticker; I imagine she bought it used, for over $500

"I bought this so recently, how is it already so slow," she asked me https://t.co/DypMKpzmzb

I fire up the task manager to get a look at things

She's right: her CPU capacity is SATURATED at regular intervals. The laptop is barely usable.

Digging into the list of processes, there's all kinds of Lenovo branded junkware running in the background.

A quick Google search confirms this is a common issue on these machines. I try to launch Lenovo's frontend for all of this junk...

and it gets so much worse. All this hideous Lenovo branding in an unnecessary splash screen, leading to a hideous app of zero value

As I'm digging around I realize what's going on: Lenovo wants surveillance turf

They want a "relationship" with the customer that's a thinly veiled back door into their machine. How often does the trackpad REALLY need a firmware update?

I ask my client for consent to remove it

The challenge is that now with this garbage program running in the foreground, the whole machine has truly ground to a halt

It takes me five minutes (!) of the limited time in our appointment even to access the Add/Remove Programs panel, so slow is everything running

After explaining the situation to the client, I purge EVERYTHING related to this Lenovo branded surveillance garbage from the machine, just as we're running out of time.

And instantly: it's usable again. CPU graph cools down, UI becomes reliably responsive again.

And it just makes me so angry

This technology is non-negotiable, at this point, even for seniors. They need it to keep in touch with people, to participate in cultural and civic life

And these companies are just CONTAMINATING the every day experience with surveillance crapware

My client paid hundreds of dollars for the privilege of using a machine that had been sabotaged by the greed and incompetence of its manufacturer

And they had no recourse at all. How are they supposed to figure this out? With what mental models?

It's funny, working in the industry, how often you can smell some dickweasel's little OKR in the inexplicable frustrations of someone who just wants to use their laptop, phone, tablet… but they're derailed by a popup, unnecessary login or other waste of time

Truly an affliction

Maybe the most frustrating thing for me is how often I'm working with people who are apologetic and unsure BECAUSE of these derailments

They think it's their fault! They think they're not capable of doing things BECAUSE they keep getting fucked with by this user-hostile crap

I spend a lot of time explaining the same thing over and over again

"It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. You're completely capable of making sense of this machine. It's just that some asshole got a bonus for trying to confuse you so a little graph would go up."