Well I suppose it was inevitable.

The influencer woman is currently standing in the road in front of my gates, using my driveway and rose garden as a backdrop to some of her photos. Our gardener has received instructions from my wife to,

"keep an eye on her"

A lackey of hers has been sent to ask if they can film on our grounds near the pool. My wife has said no, influencer is not happy, said lackey is receiving the full force of her tantrum. I get the impression this is a woman not used to hearing the word "no"

..o this is getting good. Influencer has just shouted at my wife,

"Do you know who I am ?"

I am going to have to set aside my plans for a an analysis of the use of Jeeps in Operation Archway and take a moment to join the unfolding melee.

I'll be back soonest,.

Quick update ( I'm back in the house to change my shirt)

It seems the slightly dotty influencer woman is upset because her "exposure" schtick has not been working in this area and she is becoming increasingly frustrated with people telling her no. She tried to push her way in..

..to our drive but our gardener, despite his age was equal to the attack and repelled her with a well timed yard broom to the shins. My wife joined at this moment with her ever reliable power hose giving the influencer a couple of liters in the chest area. I tried to calm ...

.. the situation but got splashed (hence the shirt change). There is some sustained shouting at the moment so clearly no de-escalation. On the positive side the new dogs are having great fun with much running up and down and excited barking.

Cat indifferent.

I will not lie, the situation has noticeably deteriorated. Influencer woman did not react well to either the broom across the shins, the soaking from my wife or quick nip she has received from one of the dogs (I think Peter). The lackey is sitting in her Land Rover sobbing and..

..saying she never wanted this and should have stayed as a dental nurse in Aberystwyth. Despite my pleas I can see my wife adding red food colouring to the steam cleaner, this is never a good sign. I have retreated to my study for a restorative coffee.

More to follow

Update

I persuaded my wife to not use the steam cleaner and the influencer went back to haranguing her assistant who is now sitting in one of our fields and gently sobbing. The influencer has adopted a zen position on the LR bonnet and is chanting a medication of sorts.

So autocorrect, that should be a meditation not medication. She is clearly faking it as she keeps looking toward the house hoping for a reaction and getting annoyed she is being ignored.

Our gardener, a kindly and gentle man felt sorry for the assistant and has given her a can of Coke and a biscuit. Influencer not happy about that, she shouted something unintelligible and fell off the bonnet.

By now a small crowd has gathered, some locals and a few tourists who the influencer is shouting at because they are laughing at her. The assistant is sitting talking to our gardener and drying her eyes.

It seems that one person in the crowd is the owner of a restaurant that had previously refused her free food. She is not happy to see him and is filming him with her phone, he is provoking her by waving and blowing her kisses. She attempted to climb back onto the Land Rover....

... but slipped and fell into some horse manure. Again she is shouting, this time it's threats,

"I can break you all, I have bankrupted restaurants and hotels. Just you see, you will all be sorry"

This lacked impact as she had horse manure in her hair.

She has returned to her 'zen' position on the bonnet of the Land Rover and has begun to sing and from time to time shout,

"Freedom"

Some of the crowd have responded with a few lines of 'La Marseillaise'

No new developments. Women still on bonnet (now humming to herself). Her assistant has now left via a taxi and the crowd is beginning to thin out.

Our dogs have adopted a guard position on the drive and are keeping her under close observation.

Cat asleep

So this is unexpected, she is filming herself walking up and down outside in the road saying,

"Here we are outside my summer home, you could have this if you follow my 10 point plan for wealth"

Well I'm sorry to say this has ended with somewhat of an anti-climax. She got into the Land Rover with with a last defiant hand gesture toward us all drove off.